Jamie left me this weekend. I've been talking to a lot of people but I also feel that writing this blog might be therapeutic. I miss her, I miss her so much. My heart feels like it was ripped from me and taken to Las Vegas. I love her more than anyone on earth, and it's the worst feeling in the world knowing that person doesn't love you back. It feels like a burning hole in my chest that I can't put out.
I can't stop crying. Just yesterday I couldn't even walk down the stairs without stopping half way, sitting down, and sobbing. What do I do?
Even recently we felt so close. On our vacation we visited San Diego and talked about living there. That was only two weeks ago.
As I'm writing this, the first earthquake I have ever felt in my life has just shaken the entire house violently...
It's hard for me to write this. Especially since my blog demographic is mostly her friends and family. However, this might help close things with all of you. Just know that I consider you all great friends of mine.
I will love Jamie forever. All I can do is hope that she remembers what our relationship meant to both of our lives, and what it could've been.
Goodbye... For now.
5 comments:
Goob, you've just got to buck up and know that she's in a place where most all of her waking hours are consumed with becoming someone none of us knew three years ago. It's been a life-changing process for her...not a bad place but one that we're somewhat alienated in. Everything around her has changed and we need to either give her the power to go where she needs or give her up forever. Maybe she'll take us with her or maybe there's no room for us but this is a huge time in her life and she's totally committed to to being a doctor and all that implies. Try not to do guilt and be her friend and be patient and not hurtful. The crying will stop sometime, though I did it for years.
june
Maybe you are a bit the self described misguided rambler my friend, and now, it's time to roam out on your own. Face it, you've really been under the influence of women your entire life. Jamie was a good influence, but how many women have you dated? There are more to get to know and appreciate - and so many things ahead of you. I know the pain is there, but it will pass. Have you read her blogs? They're great, but they are all about Jamie's life. The writing was there all along in some. You're a good hearted good looking creative man. Take a deep breathe and realize how good you're life is really. Don't look back. Look forward. There are a lot of great things and people ahead.
Oops - spelled your "you're" ...
See we all make mistakes. Maybe Jamie did by leaving you. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be, but you're going to be fine and happy again.
Breath .... Breathe in all the fresh and new ahead of you ! It's going to be great.
Thank you Anonymous!. You're the best anonymous person ever!
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