Up and Down

It's been several weeks since Jamie left me. It's been the wildest emotional ride I've ever been on. For the most part I'm keeping my feelings in check, but other times it's too hard.

I just can't believe what's happening sometimes. Jamie and I had and honest to goodness relationship. We shared the good and the bad with each other because we knew we could. We truly understood the other's feelings. I could see she loved me, just be the way she would look at me.

I also understand she's in a very stressful situation right now, but I wanted to be the one to help her through it. I was going to be the person she could talk to when feeling down, cry with when feeling sad, and hug and kiss when she felt she needed someone close by.

I'm sorry about this post. I don't have too many people to talk to sometimes, so writing this helps me.

Goodbye... For now.

I woke up this morning feeling so strange. It was snowing out my window, only one day after we had a high of 80 degrees.

Jamie left me this weekend. I've been talking to a lot of people but I also feel that writing this blog might be therapeutic. I miss her, I miss her so much. My heart feels like it was ripped from me and taken to Las Vegas. I love her more than anyone on earth, and it's the worst feeling in the world knowing that person doesn't love you back. It feels like a burning hole in my chest that I can't put out.

I can't stop crying. Just yesterday I couldn't even walk down the stairs without stopping half way, sitting down, and sobbing. What do I do? 

Even recently we felt so close. On our vacation we visited San Diego and talked about living there. That was only two weeks ago.

As I'm writing this, the first earthquake I have ever felt in my life has just shaken the entire house violently...

It's hard for me to write this. Especially since my blog demographic is mostly her friends and family. However, this might help close things with all of you. Just know that I consider you all great friends of mine. 

I will love Jamie forever. All I can do is hope that she remembers what our relationship meant to both of our lives, and what it could've been.

Goodbye... For now. 

Things have been going well the past couple of weeks. Jamie and I went on a lovely vacation to San Diego and saw our friend April. Then we shot over to Tucson and saw the old gang.


The sad truth is, if you're going on a vacation to relax, visiting your family is the last thing you should do. Don't get me wrong. I had a great time, but we were on a very tight schedule in Tucson. Where as in San Diego, Jamie and I would just roll out of bed and head over to the beach.

In the end, the real idea was to get away from work and spend time with Jamie before she went back to Vegas. So MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!! In fact, that mission was so accomplished that we even went to the mission's mom's house and slapped her in the face.


There I go again with my nonsensical rants...sorry.