No more blog starting now...

It was a fun run...

ok, starting now...

or maybe now...

now...

McClellan you sneaky bastard!!!

I'm sure many of you have heard by now, but here it is again. Former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan has a new book coming out and just a few of the oh so awesome pages have been leaked to the press.

McClellan throws this man under the bus.
And not just one of those namby pamby school buses. I'm talking one of those buses with spikes on the wheels.

McClellan confesses that the President forced him to lie on a number of occasions. He called the presidents selling of the war "Propaganda", and once overheard the president on the phone claiming "wasn't sure" if he had ever done cocaine. "We had some crazy parties back in the day" the president said.

Could it be that amongst all the lying and war profiteering the President actually hired someone with a conscience.

There are plenty more quotes that I seriously suggest you look up.

I'm thinking about abandoning this blog. I've been writing here for quite some time and it would be strange to not visit here every day, but I think I need to pack up and move on.

Perhaps I'll just start up another one somewhere else down the line.

This is just what's going through my head at the moment, nothing final yet.

Lets try this again

Here is a slightly more optimistic follow up to my previous blog entry.

If my previous blog is anything, it is an example of what SOME days are like for me. Every day of the week is different.

I just want people to know that I am not in a constant state of depression. The fact of the matter is that some days are good and others are bad. Today was one of those days where I felt that I needed to take a step back and understand everything. I'm not saying I've come to terms with what's happened to me. I'm just saying that I have a lot more to be thankful for. I bought a new car, I received a nice raise at work, and I played in a music festival with my buddy's band last weekend. Amongst all this I still have loving friends and family. I know I stated in my previous post that I don't have a lot of people to talk to sometimes and that's true as well. Some days I'm simply alone with my thoughts. But it's in hard times that the people who truly care about you step up, and many have and I am forever thankful for the support you all have given me.

Lets see what tomorrow brings

Up and Down

It's been several weeks since Jamie left me. It's been the wildest emotional ride I've ever been on. For the most part I'm keeping my feelings in check, but other times it's too hard.

I just can't believe what's happening sometimes. Jamie and I had and honest to goodness relationship. We shared the good and the bad with each other because we knew we could. We truly understood the other's feelings. I could see she loved me, just be the way she would look at me.

I also understand she's in a very stressful situation right now, but I wanted to be the one to help her through it. I was going to be the person she could talk to when feeling down, cry with when feeling sad, and hug and kiss when she felt she needed someone close by.

I'm sorry about this post. I don't have too many people to talk to sometimes, so writing this helps me.

Goodbye... For now.

I woke up this morning feeling so strange. It was snowing out my window, only one day after we had a high of 80 degrees.

Jamie left me this weekend. I've been talking to a lot of people but I also feel that writing this blog might be therapeutic. I miss her, I miss her so much. My heart feels like it was ripped from me and taken to Las Vegas. I love her more than anyone on earth, and it's the worst feeling in the world knowing that person doesn't love you back. It feels like a burning hole in my chest that I can't put out.

I can't stop crying. Just yesterday I couldn't even walk down the stairs without stopping half way, sitting down, and sobbing. What do I do? 

Even recently we felt so close. On our vacation we visited San Diego and talked about living there. That was only two weeks ago.

As I'm writing this, the first earthquake I have ever felt in my life has just shaken the entire house violently...

It's hard for me to write this. Especially since my blog demographic is mostly her friends and family. However, this might help close things with all of you. Just know that I consider you all great friends of mine. 

I will love Jamie forever. All I can do is hope that she remembers what our relationship meant to both of our lives, and what it could've been.

Goodbye... For now. 

Things have been going well the past couple of weeks. Jamie and I went on a lovely vacation to San Diego and saw our friend April. Then we shot over to Tucson and saw the old gang.


The sad truth is, if you're going on a vacation to relax, visiting your family is the last thing you should do. Don't get me wrong. I had a great time, but we were on a very tight schedule in Tucson. Where as in San Diego, Jamie and I would just roll out of bed and head over to the beach.

In the end, the real idea was to get away from work and spend time with Jamie before she went back to Vegas. So MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!! In fact, that mission was so accomplished that we even went to the mission's mom's house and slapped her in the face.


There I go again with my nonsensical rants...sorry.