Flapjack Fanny Pack!!!!!

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. Let me catch you crazy cats up.

- I went to a Halloween party, and I won the costume contest!!!!! Crazy stuff. I went as a member of DEVO

- Jamie and I moved into a new house. It's much bigger and not an apartment. Our kitty actually has a yard to play in. That crazy cat, I just want to squeez it until it dies.

- I sang some karaoke and danced the night away(several times).

- I won $10,000 and I spent it all at the arcade... that was stupid.

- I've decided that I'm going to make a weekly comic strip and post it on the coke machine at work.

- I'm about to finish my second album. I have about 8 songs and I need about 5 more. It's a concept album about a robot detective.

- I'm not feeling funny right now so I guess I'll stop right here. Maybe I'll start putting the comic on my blog.

here's a fun picture on me... bye

STORY TIME!!!

Once upon a time there was this snake
His name was Bill
One day Bill went down the road
He found a snail
He ate the snail
He went further down the road
He saw a bunny
The bunny said "How are you?"
Bill said "Who wants to know?"
Bunny said "I do"
Bill said "What if I don't want to tell you how I am?"
Bunny said "You'd better tell me or I'm gonna hit you"
Bill said "NO!"
Bunny hit Bill
Bill ran further down the road
Bunny laughed, then fell down
Further down the road Bill saw a bird
Bird said "Don't you eat me you mother fucker"
Bill said "I'm gonna eat you"
Bird said "No I have two fucking kids I need to feed dammit"
Bill said "Too bad"
Bill jumped at the bird
Suddenly Bill fell down with a hole in his stomach
The snail escaped Bill's belly

THE END

For Shame!!!

We'll done June!!

Too bad Jamie gave you the answer after I told her!!!!!

But still well done.

Ben doesn't get the prize either, because he wouldn't have figured it out unless June cheated.

It's too bad the kiss was going to be from Heath Ledger...tisk tisk.

One More Time!!!!

Out of frustration I made this one last night in about 15 minutes.

guess this one and you get a kiss....But from whom or what?


A LOVELY LITTLE QUOTE:

"These men have chosen a life of celibacy like their fathers, and their fathers before them"

- HOT SHOTS part deux

I will foil you yet Ben!!!!!

It was indeed Mrs. Spears/ Federline.

Ben, your Baby is in the mail. It should take about 14 weeks to arrive.

Until next time...

CRAZY WACKY FUN SEXY GUESS GAME!!!!

Now even sexier...

The winner will recieve some sort of basket... filled with a baby.

Good luck.

Man! What was I thinking with that last post?

My Mommy Wears a Plastic Parrot

Here's a quick little conversation Jamie and I had the other day.

Jamie: "What would you do if there were no more women in the world?"

Ford: "I'd become a woman"

Well Done All

Well it turns out my anonymous commenter was Jamie in disguise, and she was also incorrect.

I don't know why but I thought Ben was going to get this one and he did.

Yea Ben!!!!!! You'll received your undetermined prize in 8-9 weeks. Stay tuned for another edition of
SUPER CRAZY WACKY FUN SILLY GUESS GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In other news Jamie and myself are going to Burning Man on Friday, It will be ever so much fun. I can't wait to see all of those unattractive men and women walk around naked.

Round TWO!!!!!

Well, slow start to this first round.

No it was not my Mom, and sorry April it was not Willem Dafoe.

The answer was (Drum Roll please)

dubadubadubadubaduba splash!

Tom Cruise

Here's your chance to redeem yourselves.

Good luck...

CRAZY, WACKY, GUESS GAME!!!

Ok so this is going to be a new segment in my little blog like thing. You all have to guess which celebrity I've mangled and destroyed.

Good luck...

Six foot, seven foot, eight foot, BUNCH!!!!!!

Ok....Here we go.

Sorry it's been awhile since I've posted. I was out doin important stuff...

The following is a short list of the events that occurred in my life in the past month.

1. Became a vegetarian
2. Began shooting and editing a video on steroid abuse for Jamie
3. Quit smoking (unless I get really really wasted)
4. Started running more often.
5. Lost some money at blackjack.
6. Lost some money at craps.
7. Lost some money at poker.
8. Watched a lot of the French Open
9. Watched a lot of Wimbledon
10. Watched a lot of the World Cup.
11. Watched a lot of Golden Girls
12. Got promoted at work to "Technical Director"
13. Met up with Riley in Sacramento.
14. Pet my kitty
15. Hit myself in the knee with a golf club.
16. Watched Al Gore's movie and now I let out a scream everytime the sun comes up.
17. Lost some money playing penny slots.
18. Saw my Mom and Bro.
19. AND FINALLY.........I pet my kitty again.

Evil Evil Balloon

Yes it is true. The band that I created almost a year ago has made an album. It's rough around the edges, but more fun then the West Side Story soundtrack.

I'm working on a second one as well. I have two songs complete and about 4 others in the works.

This is KRNV Weather Forcaster Colin Hackman. He looks just like your average pasty white boy, but deep within his flesh, running through his veins is the spirit of a ghetto style rap artist.
Some people from work along with myself, went to this place called "The Green Room" on Tuesday for free style rap night. I wasn't too thrilled with the idea of spending five dollars for a beer and listening to hip hop all night long. Once they took the stage I knew I had made a mistake. Pretty much take what you'd expect to see and hear from a free style rap-o-thon, and that's was its. But, when Colin took the stage I was blown away by his ability to smoothly rap a pretty damn good piece. His choice of words is what seemed to get to me. I guess rap can be enjoyable when you have a decent volcabulary and your not talking about pimp slapping your mom because she's a bitch ass hoe bag....foo!

Whip It Good!

Tonight some friends from work and myself went and saw some crappy freestyle rap in hopes of seeing one of our reporters at News 4(Where News Comes First!). He supposedly was going to rap but he never showed up. So instead we went to another bar and watched other people sing kareoke ..............

I ended up singing "Whip It" to a bunch of people that wanted to hear only country music, and I only had two beers......What have I become?

Spin The Wheel of Fish!

So a strange turn of events has occurred. The Arizona International Film Fest emailed me and wants me to participate in the festival. YEA!!!!!

This festival has toyed with my emotions in the past few weeks. I'm not quite sure what to think right now, but I'm glad things worked out.

Jamie's Birthday is this Sunday, but she has to study so we're celebrating on Saturday. We'll spend the day together and I will lavish her with gifts. I wish we could go somewhere fun like Spain or Texas, but we're both so busy right now.

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile, and that this blog isn't particularly smart assy enough. I'm at work right now and this place has a tendency to suck the life out of me.

Ford

Flapdoodle!!

So last weekend Jamie, her half brother Morgan, and myself went dowtown. We had just eaten at this restaurant called "The Liberty Bell" and Morgan stole a small loaf of bread from our table. We originally wanted to go see a movie after dinner. But, since there wasn't anything good playing we decided to take a walk over to this outdoor ice skating rink. We cut open the loaf of bread, stuck a one dollar bill in it, and threw it into the rink. We proceeded to watch everyone fight for the loaf. One person even fell trying to avoid it. Finally a little blonde girl grabbed the dollar and skated off. When someone finally threw the loaf out of the rink we found two bite marks on it.

Talk about cheap entertainment...

Mango

You know what?!

Seedless watermelons are weird.

Do you think that in some crazy backwards world, where watermelons ruled the planet and ate people, they would genetically engineer people without genitals so they wouldn't have to keep spitting them out?

Just wondering.

ping pongo malo

So here's a quick little thing.

On Saturday Jamie and I were eating breakfast at a place called the Gold and Silver. I wanted ketchup, so I picked up the bottle and shook it. The cap came off and I flung ketchup all over me, the table, the floor, a chair, and possibly the people behind me.

Stoned to Death!!

So things are still going well here in Reno. My job keeps me busy and doesn't pay me very much, and our apartment is holding up nicely. The Olympics start soon on the great network of NBC, which means for the entire duration of the events I get to work 12 hour shifts. Oh well at least the overtime will be nice.

The thing I love best about working for NBC is I get to watch "The Office" every Thursday. And here I thought the only good decision this network ever made was "The West Wing". The Office is great!!! Steve Carell is brilliant and the writing is subtle and hilarious. YEAH!! the West Wing turned to shit at the best possible time. I've got a new #1 in my book.

And finally, to explain the title to this post. I know my titles never seem to make any reference to anything, well this time It does. I feel sorry for anyone who had to sit through the vomity vile sound of the Rolling Stones for the Super Bowl half time show. Never have I heard such an extreme sound of excrement leave an amplifier before. McJagger was so busy attempting to jump around like a troubled middle school student, he forgot to sing his songs correctly. Mind you I've never really liked the Stones, but their performance put the final nail in a coffin containing any hope for my admiration.

Fluff!

Since I've arrived in Reno much has happened. The first week Riley and I behaved like we had a gambling addiction and lost a lot of money. As soon as Riley left a flood swept through the city, killing just about everyone in Reno...except me of course. I started my new job at KRNV, which is pretty cool but not something I want to stay with for more than a couple of years.

My cat seems to be adjusting nicely to the new place, even after Riley dropped her cage in the parking lot in Vegas. I'm writing some music in my spare time and conjuring up a script inspired by "The Man who Mistook His Wife for a Hat"

Other then all that stuff, things are pretty normal around here. I'm a bit lonely and I want to do a Vegas trip, but who knows when that will happen.

Mi Me My Mo Mu

So it's finally happened, I've arrived in the biggest little city. things are going pretty well, I like our place, I like my job (except I have to work from 2:45pm-11:45pm), and I like the city. However, I am home sick so everyone should come visit me here and make me feel better.

This is my first big move and I hope it goes well for me. If others can do it, so can I.