AAAAAARHHHHHHH!!!!!

It's confirmed. I will not be visiting Tucson in the near future.

I've got a question for you all.

What happened to the good old days?

TUCSON SNIFF...SNIFF

THOSE OF YOU STILL LIVING IN TUCSON WILL FIND HIS HARD TO BELIEVE, BUT I MISS TUCSON SOOO SOOO MUCH. I REALLY WANT TO VISIT AND SEE MY OLD FRIENDS.

AND IT JUST MAKES ME WANT TO GO EVEN MORE BECAUSE I HAD A BAD WEEK AT WORK AND I'VE REALIZED THAT I NEED A VACATION BAAAAAAAD!

I'VE WORKED 1 YEAR AND 2 MONTHS WITHOUT ONE AND I THINK IT'S TIME.

ART TIME USA!!!!!

Here's what I do at work on my breaks... Enjoy.

Miracle Baby

Fatty Kitten Robot

Happy

Yucky Spider Fire

Ben Strikes Again!!!!!

Ok Ben... This means war.

STINKY WINKY FLIPPY DONKEY GUESS GAME!!!!!

THIS MIGHT BE ONE OF MY FAVORITES SO FAR!!!!!!


GUESS THIS AND YOU WIN A TUBE SOCK FILLED WITH ORANGES.

STORY TIME!!!

Once upon a time there was this guy
He saw a kitten and he threw it into the road
The kitten landed on a car
The car swerved off the road and off a cliff
The car landed in a lake
A fish flew out of the lake and hit a bird
the bird got caught in a vortex of wind
The vortex flung the bird to Hawthorn Nevada
The bird hit a man
The man fell down some stairs and hit a big red button
15 nuclear bombs exploded killing everyone within a kabillion miles
Except for the kitten who was launched into space and sucked into a black hole.

The moral of this story is...Don't fuck with shit!!!!!!

Here it is Ben(crossing my fingers)

GOOD VIBRATING GUT!!!

It was not until I entered that building and felt the extreme lows of the bass drum resonate through my body that I realized a piece of my past was missing for the last 2-3 years.

It seems so distant, the last time I waited outside by a frigid brick wall in blow freezing temperatures just to see if there was any glimmering hope that they were selling tickets at the door.

I can't remember being over 21 and able to drink at a venue like this, because every other time I wasn't.

This was the fifth time I had seen NOFX and hopefully it won't be the last.

I purchased a shirt with the picture above on it, but instead of him giving the peace sign, he's holding a gun. I realized later that it might be a mistake to wear something like that in a "RED" state, but I still like it.

Up next...

A SUPER WACKY GUESS GAME THAT WILL LEAVE YOU WITH A STRANGE FEELING INSIDE

...

...Bastards

SUPER, FREAKY, FUCKED UP, SLAPPY, SCRAPPY GUESS GAME!!!!!

HEEEEEEEEEEEY EVERYBODY!!!!!!

Boy oh boy has it been awhile. All of you have probably given up on my blog, but it's back baby!!! and it's better than EVER!!!!!

Guess this celeb and you win a date with an old man... a creepy old man.

HERE'S A COMMERCIAL I MADE FOR A TOYOTA COROLLA



IF YOU VOTE FOR IT, IT GETS PUT ON TV.

Flapjack Fanny Pack!!!!!

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. Let me catch you crazy cats up.

- I went to a Halloween party, and I won the costume contest!!!!! Crazy stuff. I went as a member of DEVO

- Jamie and I moved into a new house. It's much bigger and not an apartment. Our kitty actually has a yard to play in. That crazy cat, I just want to squeez it until it dies.

- I sang some karaoke and danced the night away(several times).

- I won $10,000 and I spent it all at the arcade... that was stupid.

- I've decided that I'm going to make a weekly comic strip and post it on the coke machine at work.

- I'm about to finish my second album. I have about 8 songs and I need about 5 more. It's a concept album about a robot detective.

- I'm not feeling funny right now so I guess I'll stop right here. Maybe I'll start putting the comic on my blog.

here's a fun picture on me... bye

STORY TIME!!!

Once upon a time there was this snake
His name was Bill
One day Bill went down the road
He found a snail
He ate the snail
He went further down the road
He saw a bunny
The bunny said "How are you?"
Bill said "Who wants to know?"
Bunny said "I do"
Bill said "What if I don't want to tell you how I am?"
Bunny said "You'd better tell me or I'm gonna hit you"
Bill said "NO!"
Bunny hit Bill
Bill ran further down the road
Bunny laughed, then fell down
Further down the road Bill saw a bird
Bird said "Don't you eat me you mother fucker"
Bill said "I'm gonna eat you"
Bird said "No I have two fucking kids I need to feed dammit"
Bill said "Too bad"
Bill jumped at the bird
Suddenly Bill fell down with a hole in his stomach
The snail escaped Bill's belly

THE END

For Shame!!!

We'll done June!!

Too bad Jamie gave you the answer after I told her!!!!!

But still well done.

Ben doesn't get the prize either, because he wouldn't have figured it out unless June cheated.

It's too bad the kiss was going to be from Heath Ledger...tisk tisk.

One More Time!!!!

Out of frustration I made this one last night in about 15 minutes.

guess this one and you get a kiss....But from whom or what?


A LOVELY LITTLE QUOTE:

"These men have chosen a life of celibacy like their fathers, and their fathers before them"

- HOT SHOTS part deux

I will foil you yet Ben!!!!!

It was indeed Mrs. Spears/ Federline.

Ben, your Baby is in the mail. It should take about 14 weeks to arrive.

Until next time...

CRAZY WACKY FUN SEXY GUESS GAME!!!!

Now even sexier...

The winner will recieve some sort of basket... filled with a baby.

Good luck.

Man! What was I thinking with that last post?

My Mommy Wears a Plastic Parrot

Here's a quick little conversation Jamie and I had the other day.

Jamie: "What would you do if there were no more women in the world?"

Ford: "I'd become a woman"

Well Done All

Well it turns out my anonymous commenter was Jamie in disguise, and she was also incorrect.

I don't know why but I thought Ben was going to get this one and he did.

Yea Ben!!!!!! You'll received your undetermined prize in 8-9 weeks. Stay tuned for another edition of
SUPER CRAZY WACKY FUN SILLY GUESS GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In other news Jamie and myself are going to Burning Man on Friday, It will be ever so much fun. I can't wait to see all of those unattractive men and women walk around naked.